Abstract
This article asserts that the desire for control is a natural psychological hunger, satisfied by empowerment, stability, and connection. The natural urge to develop a healthy psyche that has the “muscle” to create psychological safety and security is suggested as an addition to Berne's three basic psychological hungers. The distinction between healthy positive control and unhealthy neurotic control is an important factor in understanding what motivates human behavior. When healthy control is not achieved, rather than experience helplessness, confusion, and isolation—which is akin to psychological death—people will adopt neurotic control methods. New therapeutic techniques for addressing this issue in therapy are described.